The Dark Night

All of us will face dark nights in our lives. They come in many forms. And yes, they are really, really scary. As I face my darkest night, I remember this story of long ago...

Many years ago, I was a "Candidate" (a student) in Army OCS, (Officer Candidate School). Now as many of you have heard, getting through OCS is brutal. Among the many torturous things we had to learn and get through, one of the biggest hurdles was passing the Land Navigation test, (better known as "Land Nav"). If we did not pass Land Nav, we would be removed from the program and not become an officer.

One Land Nav test was in the day, the other, at night. These were the days before GPS, so we had to do it the "old fashioned" way with compass, map, and own own intuition and skill. "Orienteering" as it is also known.

The daytime Land Nav test was fairly easy. Things were easily seen, the terrain, the map, washes, foliage, hills and mountains. But doing Land Nav at night was another story.

We were taken to a place way out in the middle of the desert in Arizona, the terrain fairly flat. The night sky had no moon at all...so no light. It was the darkest of nights. It was also summer, and it was very hot. Even at night.

All of us were given our maps and coordinates. We were supposed to find our markers at each coordinate, write down what letter what was on the marker (that is how they would know if we found the correct one).

The test was also timed. We had two hours to find all of our markers and get back to the start area to turn in our results. If we did not get the correct ones or finish in time, we would fail Land Nav and be kicked out of OCS. Dreams and hopes would be dashed.

And so, the stress was on. I was given my coordinates. Sweat drops dripped onto my map as plotted out my course to each marker. And...it was so dark, I was in the middle of the desert...all alone...there were snakes out there, javalinas... (Lions and tigers and bears!) I could get lost...hurt out there!... Ugh!

I had to overcome my fear....and just go for it!

I pressed forward. I decided to run to each marker to make better time. Amazingly I found the first four markers with no trouble.

But then the last marker, as I approached the area where it was supposed to be...I saw two markers. They were only about fifty feet apart. Which one was it? This one, or that one?

I looked at my map. I saw the marker that was "mine" was next to a small wash, just to the west of it. I went to one marker...walked straight east...no wash. I made my way back to the other marker...again, I walked east...in the darkness I saw perhaps the remnants of a dry small creek. That was it! I wrote that one down!

I had only ten minutes til the deadline to get back to the start / finish line. I
ran all the way back sweating profusely, making it to the finish just within a few minutes!

I waited anxiously as the officer in charge graded my results...

I had passed! Hallelujah!

A few more torturous months and many more hurdles, I graduated OCS and was commissioned an officer, a 2LT (Second Lieutenant). I was a brand new officer (also known as a "butter bar"). Forty eight of us had started OCS, eight of us made it.

A few years later, it was I who was teaching Land Nav to students, Officer Candidates in OCS. It was not the skill of learning Land Nav that was the hard part, it was and is ... overcoming fear.

Yes all of us will face dark nights in our lives. They come in many forms. And yes, they are really, really scary.

I am now facing the biggest dark night of my life. Illness.

But what is amazing, is that in this difficult time as I enter the dark night, so many kind, loving, caring people. So much love!

Isn't it amazing how humanity is...in the worst of times, the most difficult of times, we can also be at our best?

Light (love) always overcomes darkness (fear).

I will remember this little Land Nav story as I walk into this dark night...and hang on with the hope, there is light on the other side...and that I will get there...

And now dear readers...this may be my last post for awhile. I hope and pray, God willing, that I will be able to get through this, heal, and get back to "regular life". As well, continue my blog soon.

Live and walk in love!

The Teacher

We all have had many teachers in our lives. Some of them in a formal setting, such as a classroom in school or college. Think of your favorite teachers you have had over the years....what was it about them that you liked? What made them a good teacher? What was it that made them have such an impact in your life?

But some, if not most of the teachers in our lives are not classroom teachers, so to speak. Rather, in more everyday settings, in our lives, and many times we may or may not even be aware that they are a teacher, or that we, are a teacher in their life.

I think of the patients in the hospital here. Here at the VA and over at the Stanford hospital just a few miles away, many medical residents, students, interns, and or people doing fellowships in their medical professions are here, learning and working. Yes, they may have their professors...but the real teachers...are the patients.

And there they are...unsuspecting...do they know they are also teachers? As I have visited many many patients, it is amazing what I learn from them. It is not just me, as a chaplain doing ministry...I am also learning from them.

Most recently, I am now facing a medical issue. I went to see the doctor. And there was a medical student, who saw me before the doctor. She was very kind...and I watched her brief the doctor, (my doctor, her professor) on my medical situation.

Later, as I was preparing to leave the doctor's office...I told her that I thought she would become a fine doctor someday.

I have taught dozens of classes as a teacher over the years, in colleges, at churches, with the government and military. I have been a teacher for many years.

But now as I walked out of the medical building, facing my unexpected medical situation....now ...I have joined the ranks of the many. It is a path I did not choose, teaching others...in this way.