Fear and Waiting

Fear. We know it when we face it. We know it when we feel it. What is it we all fear?
It is about to be All Hallow's Eve, better known as Halloween, All Saints Day (Nov 1st), All Souls Day (Nov 2nd), or Samhain (Celtic New Year), or Dia de Los Muertas (Day of the Dead, Nov 2nd) and so on. Why all these interesting holidays this time of year?

We (the earth) are at the midway point between the Autumnal Equinox and the Winter

Solstice (in the northern hemisphere, that is). Winter Solstice being the shortest day of the year, or the longest night. As we head toward December 21st from Oct 31st / Nov 1 / Nov 2nd, the earth was thought to be going into its "dying" phase as the trees lose their leaves, plants seemingly die, it gets colder. The days get shorter and the nights get longer. It was thought by many cultures that this was a time when the barrier between the spirit world and the physical world of the living is most thin. The night dominates. Spirits come to visit, hence it can be a dangerous, fearful time.

Just like our planet and its seasons, we also have our seasons of life. And our seasons of life, unlike the earth's three month seasons can last years. All of us have our metaphorical summers, winters, springs and falls.

In our modern Western American culture though, most people wish to over-emphasize our metaphorical "summers". Happy, happy all the time. Stay happy, pursuit of happiness. The right to happy. Fear, sadness, decline, illness, death, dying, loss, (winters) are to be avoided at all costs. But I suppose this is natural, for who really wishes to face suffering and fear?

But that's not the way life is. Winter comes. We may not wish to go there, but an event in life that we do not choose may catapult us there. And there we are, in winter. Loss, grief, depression, dealing with an injury, facing illness, etc. may put us in our "winters". It may not be the most pleasant time of life. It is not happy, happy, joy, joy. It is downright scary. It may be a time we face our worst fears. More fearful than anything we may have ever faced in life. But oh what we can learn and how we can grow from our winters.

Walking around the VA hospital where I work, I see people facing their greatest fears...waiting with anticipation for information about their medical situation....people crowded in waiting rooms in the oncology clinic, or radiology...the ICUs, waiting for loved ones to come out of the OR, the ER.

For those of you who have never had to face these events, can you imagine what must be going through their minds? The anxiety. The fear. The suffering of waiting and going through test after medical test. People who were once young and strong, now dealing with their illness or injury. Waiting and wondering, will I ever walk again? Will I heal? Will I ever beat this disease? Do I have cancer or is it benign? Waiting to see the doctor, waiting to hear information.

That time of waiting .....the mind can so easily run away with itself with fear and worry. The waiting ...can be the worst of all.

Getting Help for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Last week I had the privilege of attending a week long seminar at the National Center for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) at the VA Hospital in Menlo Park, CA. It was mostly attended by psychologists and social workers, and a few of us chaplains.

As we know, many Vets have returned from combat in SW Asia, Vietnam, Korea, WWII, may have or develop PTSD.

PTSD can also develop if one has experienced a traumatic, life threatening event such as an assault, or a disaster. (Examples include childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, terrorist attack, sexual or physical assault, serious accidents, car wreck, plane crash, natural disasters, hurricane, earthquake, fire, tornado, flood.)

Most people will have stress reactions after a trauma. If the intense stress does not go away after time, (post trauma) or it disrupts one's life it is called a disorder, hence "PTSD".

Signs of PTSD include: nightmares, flashbacks, use of drugs, drinking to excess, withdrawal, depression, rage, suicidal thoughts, fear, confusion, can't stop thinking about the event, reliving the event, jumping at loud noises, avoidance, feeling numb, feeling intensely anxious or keyed up, having trouble sleeping, having trouble concentrating, feeling always on guard, feelings of hopelessness, relationship problems, difficulty holding a job, chronic physical pain, feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma.

Help is available. Most VA Hospitals have treatment for PTSD. The National Center for PTSD at the Menlo Park VA Hospital in California has some residential and innovative treatment programs for men and women Vets.

There are many therapies and treatment programs for PTSD. These include:
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CBT)
Prolonged Exposure Therapy
Mindfulness Practice
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

There are many more therapies, but these are the most effective.

Noticeably absent are any therapies of a spiritual nature or emphasis. But this is changing. It is unfortunate, that the medical model of therapy and healing took a turn in separating the spiritual from the scientific. It is well noted how much a person's spirituality, spiritual or religious / faith beliefs and practices can be a source of strength and resilience in healing and wholeness.

For more information on these therapies, or how to get help for PTSD, please go to the National Center for PTSD web site: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/index.asp

The things we can learn from the places that scare us

OK, I am going to 'fess up, there are places and people that sometimes scare me. These places are sometimes hospital rooms and patients with certain conditions.

What do you say, or what comfort can you bring to someone who will never walk again, or has been flat on his back for 20+ years and will never heal?

Walking into these rooms can be more scarey than being in a plane doing a combat landing in Baghdad!

But the other day, I had a most interesting experience visiting a patient who was confined to a wheelchair. In spite of his condition, he exuded such joy and happiness. He showed me pictures of him going skiing, and participating in other sports even though he can't walk! He beamed with joy as he told me how he had never been into these things before his injury. And now, he has discovered new things, new activities and new friends that bring him joy.

I marveled at him. He was amazing. Here, I can walk, and sometimes I find myself so easily getting bummed out about things. So easy to let myself get in sad state of mind. So easy to be disappointed about something, anxious about something, angry about something, and so on.

But these people, with spinal injuries, brain injuries and so forth, have found a way to LIVE. And I mean really live, not just exist. Not stuck in self pity, or sorrow, or have given up hope.

Oh yes, they grieve their losses greatly and have their rough days. But many find a way to live. Really live.

I did not have to ask him how he did it. He let me see into his world by sharing with me his story. I just listened ...and was amazed.

In each person, a whole universe!

Oh the things we can learn, by daring to go into the places that scare us!

Dare to walk in love and not fear!!