So, what do you write about AFTER the big adventure? After you come home from "the edge of the earth"?
Coming home. Being back at home. What is it like when you come home from a long overseas deployment?
The plane ride home is always tough...even when you get to fly in a nice commercial jet...those long flights around the world just take so much energy out of you.
Coming home is always so good. You play it in your mind over and over when you are away, what it will be like when you come home. And when you reach for your house keys that you have not used or seen in so long to open your front door of your house, it is so great. As for me, two anxious little dogs were waiting for me once inside and they gave me a very big welcome!
Once in my house, and family has left, I sit there. Dazed. I made it home. Home sweet home.
Last year when I came home from my deployment to SW Asia my family had put some food in the fridge for me...but not this time. No food in the 'fridge, or the kitchen. Nothing. So in spite of how tired I was, I went to the grocery store and bought some food. Then home, and sleep...and sleep...and sleep.
The next four or five days is a flurry of unpacking, doing tons of laundry, cleaning the house, opening months of mail, emailing and calling friends and family, and paying bills.
The hard part about coming home is getting back into "the world" again and finding your place again. Strange as it may sound, it is a bit scary to see everyone again for the first time. Last year when I came back from SW Asia, it was very difficult for me to 'make my appearance'. So tired, so, so, something. In my mind it was still 5 months ago here....but for everyone here at home, it is now.
This time it was not so bad, I was gone only about 3 months. One of my co-workers down in Antarctica said the hard thing about being deployed is that while away you become less and less relevant to the people back home. Meaning, they learn to get things done without you. Life goes on.
The dust is still settling here in my house. I am still not totally ....uh...I am not sure what word to use...not yet something.
Rev. Laura - you may want to talk about this feeling of detachment with other returning vets. This is one of many symptoms of PTSD. While your deployment may not have been traumatic, the rapid separation and then reintegration can tear you up. Not diagnosing here, just sayin'...
ReplyDeleteIn late '06 I was working a special project at work and not with my team on a regular basis. Then came extended time off for bereavement, then accident followed by illness. I returned to the special project and finally back to my team after most of a year. I remember the realization that my teammates had learned "to get things done without me". It was a surprise and kind of hard to take. I did feel detached and needed to start redefining my role on the team. That was interrupted by retirement which became another, still continuing, opportunity to redefine myself in an even more comprehensive way. Yeah I know where your at right now. But we can still arise and be thankful for a new day each morning and be filled with anticipation of what might be in store for us.
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