Final Gifts

Sometimes we are privileged to share a very special moment with another human

being. They let us into their world, and what we get to experience with them is nothing short of sacred.

The other day I sat with a man as he lay on his deathbed. He could not talk much, in fact, he could barley mouth words. I asked him if it was OK if I just sat there with him and held his hand. He mouthed yes. And there we sat in silence, me at his bedside, holding his frail hand.

Now, I had had the privilege of getting to know Mr. D last summer when I first came to work here at the VA hospital. He was in the Hospice unit, and in spite of the fact he was there to die, he was not afraid. He was high functioning, friendly, talkative and seemed to enjoy my visits.

Mr. D and I shared a special connection as we both had some very similar life experiences. He had been an ordained minister with the United Church of Christ (UCC) for over 40 years. I had been UCC before becoming an Episcopal priest. He had a love for the liturgy and high church.

So here he was now, at the end of his life and he professed to being an Episcopalian. And I was a brand new Episcopal priest. I would bring him Eucharist, and being that he liked the high church stuff, I gave him high church in his room! Smells, bells and all. He loved that!

He was such a delight. But then, I got sick unexpectedly last fall and had to take medical leave. I was gone for many weeks. I wondered about Mr. D.

When I returned to work a few weeks ago, he was still there. Still up and functioning. But then last week, everything changed. He was declining rapidly.

And as I visited him holding his hand, sitting with him, I told him how much he had touched my life. He mouthed that I had touched his life. I then said the Lord's Prayer, saying it for both of us. It was very special.

I sat there with him about 45 minutes, then the nurses came in so they could give him some care. And so, I left.

I found out later that he had passed that afternoon.

Not that I did not expect this. But I was amazed at what I had just experienced with Mr. D. What an amazing man. And what an amazing gift. I am so glad I had been given the gift of knowing him and being able to tell him how much he touched my life.

And, he really did.

His final gifts.