Spirituality and the Power of Humor

Over the years, I have kept a file that I call “Things to Look At When Bummed File”. It has grown thick over the years as I have added jokes, political cartoons, funny stories and other humorous tidbits. When I am sad or distressed, or when things get really rough, I review this file and soon I am laughing so hard I am in a much better space mentally and spiritually!

It is proven that laughing is good for us. It helps boost the immune system. Laughter makes us feel good. It relieves and diffuses tension in stressful moments. It helps us relax and recharge. It decreases pain. It releases endorphins and enhances serotonin, (a powerful antidepressant!). It helps prevent heart disease. It eases anxiety and fear.

Ever been around someone that has no sense of humor? Watch your anxiety rise, and the time pass very slowly!

Yes, it is no secret that humor and laughing are good for one’s physical and mental health, as well as for one’s spirit!

Many have asked me how I have survived 22+ years of military service. I tell them, ‘Humor and prayer!’

The military itself has a particularly interesting cultural humor about it. This is often overlooked as the mission of the military is about such serious stuff; danger, high stress, deployments, war, facing death, suffering, sacrifice, etc. Perhaps this is one reason for the success and popularity of the TV show MASH. It captures that humor (as well as a TV show can do) that helps people deal in the most harsh and stressful of environments.

On top of the mission, the military is a giant bureaucracy, hierarchical and can be very impersonal and full of absurdities and annoying things. Just to deal with the military organization itself you NEED a good sense of humor. As anyone who has served will tell you, a healthy sense of humor is one way to survive the bureaucracy!

The power of humor can also be very healing. Recently I saw a workshop being held on the topic “Humor and Laughter in the Cancer Journey”. Now, we would not think that having cancer as a funny topic, but such is the power of humor to help us heal, and deal…

And now as I deal with my own illness, the stress of the unknown, going through major surgery, painful medical procedures and treatments the past few months, I have once again found that humor helps me through.

For example, I have a phobia of needles, and now that I am sick, this makes it really, really hard for me as I am always having blood drawn, IVs, shots, tests, etc. It is NO FUN.

However, I have found that if I ask the person who is about to stick a needle into me to tell me a joke, it REALLY helps me not be so nervous. Humor really helps!

The other week, I did this as the nurse was about to try and get an IV into me. I asked her to tell me a joke. She looked at me blankly, “I don’t know any jokes!”. But then two medical assistants overheard, intervened and told a joke…and the needle went in without any pain! My distress was much lessened. Later, as I was about to have a CT scan, the technician said to me, “You like jokes huh? I have one for you…” and he proceeded to tell me a joke. And later, as I was about to leave the medical facility, a young doctor came up to me and said, “Hey, are you the patient that likes jokes? I have one for you…” and she delighted in telling me her joke!

Yes laughter and humor gives us courage and strength in the most difficult of times. It helps us stay focused on hope! And hope is powerful medicine indeed!

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

"A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…” Ecclesiastes 3.4

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."
- Mahatma Gandhi

Final Gifts

Sometimes we are privileged to share a very special moment with another human

being. They let us into their world, and what we get to experience with them is nothing short of sacred.

The other day I sat with a man as he lay on his deathbed. He could not talk much, in fact, he could barley mouth words. I asked him if it was OK if I just sat there with him and held his hand. He mouthed yes. And there we sat in silence, me at his bedside, holding his frail hand.

Now, I had had the privilege of getting to know Mr. D last summer when I first came to work here at the VA hospital. He was in the Hospice unit, and in spite of the fact he was there to die, he was not afraid. He was high functioning, friendly, talkative and seemed to enjoy my visits.

Mr. D and I shared a special connection as we both had some very similar life experiences. He had been an ordained minister with the United Church of Christ (UCC) for over 40 years. I had been UCC before becoming an Episcopal priest. He had a love for the liturgy and high church.

So here he was now, at the end of his life and he professed to being an Episcopalian. And I was a brand new Episcopal priest. I would bring him Eucharist, and being that he liked the high church stuff, I gave him high church in his room! Smells, bells and all. He loved that!

He was such a delight. But then, I got sick unexpectedly last fall and had to take medical leave. I was gone for many weeks. I wondered about Mr. D.

When I returned to work a few weeks ago, he was still there. Still up and functioning. But then last week, everything changed. He was declining rapidly.

And as I visited him holding his hand, sitting with him, I told him how much he had touched my life. He mouthed that I had touched his life. I then said the Lord's Prayer, saying it for both of us. It was very special.

I sat there with him about 45 minutes, then the nurses came in so they could give him some care. And so, I left.

I found out later that he had passed that afternoon.

Not that I did not expect this. But I was amazed at what I had just experienced with Mr. D. What an amazing man. And what an amazing gift. I am so glad I had been given the gift of knowing him and being able to tell him how much he touched my life.

And, he really did.

His final gifts.

Comfort and Hope

When life gets difficult, what gives you comfort? What brings you hope?

When someone is ill or injured, one of the best things that can really lift spirits is a visit from family or friends. As well, it can also be the source of much distress, for both the sick person and the person trying to "do good"!

Yes, visiting the sick or grieving may be be a source of real discomfort for some. "What do I say?" "What should I say?" "I don't know what to say!" "What if I say something stupid?" may be going through your mind.

But go ahead and do visit if you can. Do make that phone call. Or even an email or a text. It will mean so much to your friend or family member.

Well, there are blunders of course. Just know though, you really don't have to say anything. You do not need to bombard them with questions about their illness.

But the biggest blunder is to not do anything. Your friend or family member needs to hear from you, not be left alone in this difficult time!

They need to hear or know that you care about them.

Just a simple "Hello, I was thinking of you" phone call (or card, or email, or text) is actually one of the best things you can do or say to lift spirits!

But not just when they are in the hospital. Or when there is a funeral. But weeks afterward. That is really when they need to hear from you! During the long and many times lonely weeks/ months of recovery and healing.

You see, it is not about information, it is not about the length of a visit. (In fact, the shorter the visit, the better!)

It is about relationship. Supporting each other with love through life's tough times.

That is what brings comfort and hope!

It is not what you say, it is your presence that makes all the difference.

Years ago after my mother died, a friend just sat with me and we watched the moon rise. No conversation, but I sure was glad she was there.

Think of the times or things others have done for you that helped you through the tough times. And now, pass it on.

And again, that is what brings comfort and hope!